why do people walk away?
“The first daughter will carry and is her father’s karma.” As I heard this phrase, I wanted to blame my father.
As I can remember in my head, the first person who left me was my father. It all started there and an ending cycle that I wish to burn all away. In every relationships that I had, including friendships and families, they were the first one to walk away. Left me with a sore heart, and burning wounds. As if I am the one that they can easily abandon. Am I really that easy to abandon?
Why am I carrying my father’s sin? Why is heaven punishing me for the sins that I didn’t commit? How do I forgive my father when I am afraid to receive the karma of his sins?
I scream in heaven, my heart has the sincerest intentions. I tried not to be a burden as if that was the reason why my father left me -that I am a too much burden that he couldn’t no longer carry.
I tried to fit in every friendships that felt like a worn-out and tight clothes that doesn’t fit.
Yet, in every relationships, the other person is always the first one to walk away.
Was it me or my father? Whose fault is it? God, change the prophecy; I beg the heavens.
Some thoughts are constantly lingering in my mind. Did I suffocate people for them to have a courage to walk away? Or was it just me paying the miseries of pain that my father caused to my mother and women he loved?
