The Irony of Pain; You Want To Be Comforted By The People Who Hurt You
I spent my night crying over you, wishing for you to hold me again.
“We accept the love that we think we deserve.”
We owe ourselves lots of apologies for that.
May it be friends, lovers, or families. We always settle for the love that we think is the best for us, even it is continously destroying us, and we never hear an apology for bearing all of that.
We never acknowledge our pain just to keep certain people in our lives -to the point that we lose ourselves in the process of loving and keeping them.
The pain is still here, haunting and punishing me in every way that I can remember you. Yet, the person that I cry over, left me in this trapped room. It’s so lonely and daunting here, can you please help me to get out of here?
Despite of the pain that you’ve embedded between my heart, I still wish to hear your voice. It feels like all of pieces that you’ve left in me are now broking every inside of me. All of the traumas that I still carry within me, all of the pain that felt like a knife pointing out every inch of my skin. And it was very selfish of me to let myself beg the universe to have you by my side again.
The distance that you’ve drawn, and the cold voices that no longer gave me such warmth. I’ve tolerated all of that just because that’s the love that I thought I deserved. But I realized how damaged you’ve caused in my well-being.
I don’t deserve the things that I’ve tolerated.
As you vanish in my dreams, the memories of you are still haunting me alive and tearing me apart.
