Cherophobia: The Fear Of Happiness

I am afraid that grief takes over my life, and I’ll spend my life fearing hapiness as it wants to come to us.

But I guess, as we grow up, we feel less joy and we thrive harder to survive. We now focus on surviving rather than the purpose of life and happiness, it is now more important that we are able to study and work harder. Even getting up in the morning and finding our motivations feels like work and a responsibility in order for us to feel alive.

But as we grow older, the fear of happiness comes. Have you ever felt the pressure of thoughts that is something sad or bad gonna happen when you’re full of happiness?

I questioned my self, “Why am I not happy like them?” Yet I know very well that I push happiness a little away when it’s there. I sit with it but I don’t really like having a happy heart as I believe that there’s something more unpleasant will occur. I love happiness, I want to be full of it. But the anxiety running through my head; the fear of the compensation for being happy.

The moment the I feel a little blissfulness, I whispered in my head, “I hope I won’t cry later.” I am afraid that life will take something precious from me, and I weirdly don’t let myself be over-joy.

Is that one of the reason why we feel less joy? Or all the other emotions are just what we are unfamiliar with? That we always think that happiness is the most important emotion that we can bring in everywhere.

But as we grow older, we’ve learned that there are too many emotions that we should recognize and let ourselves feel.

I guess, we really feel less joy. But I hope when happiness comes, we can finaly let ourselves to have such smiles and laughters in our mouths without fearing what’s happen next.

We should never allow just two or three emotions consume our lives, instead use all of it as a strength to move forward and live our lives.