I handled it so well

I handled it so well, with torn bones and soul. Those miseries carved in my palm that always remind me of blue yesterdays that I surpassed yet still linger in my mind.

Those bittersweet smiles that my lips gave to those people who had asked me if I am okay, I bore with those aching thoughts that desperately want to collapsed in my heart. If you ask me if how I handled it, you would see me staring at the ocean, as those waves heard how I let go of my scream. It ruined me, and it torn me into fragment of agony. My hands are excruciating and couldn’t even bear to touch my own heart.

I will always remember my miseries as it once made me feel that I’m alive but put me into verge of quietus. I let go those knots tied to my gut and buried the things that I have to let go. The tears that fell down from my eyes, and those harsh clobbers I’ve thrown to gain my senses. I’ve pulled myself out of the dark place that haunted me with memories.

Every night, my demons are visiting me. Its claw is perforating my skin, carving my calves and whispering to my ears to pick up the knife. Those murmur agitating my mind and filling me up with the thoughts to doubt my self.

Would you even say that I handled it too well if you had seen those cuts and tears from my heart?