first and last card of the family
The unseen reality of being an only child.
They always say that we’re lucky that we can always get everything and don’t have any siblings to compete with.
Yet, there’s a lot of pain of being alone and an only child. There’s some days that we wish to have someone who’s older that we can rely on, who will defend us from everything and someone who’s wiser and will embrace us from the heartbreak of the world. Someone who’s younger that we can take care of, doll up with the dresses that are too little for us to fit in, and pour them with warmth and gentleness that we could ever give.
Being alone, lonely and mostly neglected, that’s the reality that we face every single day in a house that weight us with loneliness as the silence plays in our heads.
We are always showered with gifts but a little with attention and tenderness.
I guess, the reason why we are too independent when we love, or too soft when we get comfortable. Because independency is what we were taught and softness is what we always crave and never had a taste of.
What does it feel to have a silly-childish fight with siblings? What does it feel when you’re eldest sibling warns you and give lots of advice. about love to avoid having such heartbreaks? What does it feel to have a younger sibling that we shower with protection and love? All I wanted is to have someone that I can share my burdens as they do. I think that for some people who have experienced it, it is sometimes lovely feeling yet a burdensome.
We tend to crave our parents’ validation to prove our worth as their child.
As being an only child means the first and last card of the family, I carry the expectations of the family. Our biggest fear is to be a failure and not to be a succesful as what they always want us to be. We can’t fail because we’re the only card and way. We don’t have someone whom we can share the expectations and disappointments of the family and cry over it. We have to be our own eldest, middle and youngest.
Only child means our siblings are either our friends or cousins. We always find the bond on friendships to at least experience it.
But in the end, we can’t complain because we are the spoiled child.
